Grapes of Wrath
We had been driving for hours, but I thought we should check out Tedeschi Vineyards since we were in the area. Once we finally made it (about 30 - 40 minutes out of our way), three busloads of tourists showed up in the parking lot at the same exact time. Strike one.
Welcome to the distorted Disneyland of wineries and get ready to experience “the bottoms-up ride,” which consists of being shoved and hovered over in a crowded, single-file line leading to the tasting bar where you can try their disgustingly, sweet house wine; Maui Splash, a pinot grigio infused with pineapple. I’ve never been so happy to see a swill bucket in my life! Just because I’m in Hawaii doesn’t mean there needs to be pineapple in my wine.
As for the red, there were only two varieties. One which was packaged nicely, but tasted like dirt and the other was descent, but its label looked liked it was designed by someone who drank too much of the crappy, pineapple wine. Strike two.
The absolute worst part was that we found out they didn’t even grow the grapes in Hawaii! They were grown in California and shipped there. Are you kidding me? Strike three...we’re out.