Friday, July 11, 2008

San Diego bakery- Heavensent

(Hell) Bent at Heavensent - Saying Hell no to the halo

In a rush, I went against my better judgment and decided to pick up dessert at Heaven sent. I had remained distant (emotionally, geographically it was just blocks away), after several unsettled spats between their treats and my taste-buds. This recent trip of desperation only solidified why I Hades this place so much.

My cake-loving companion and I set off to choose a couple delights for a birthday celebration, but this wasn’t an easy task by any means. Mainly because the entire staff had the attitude of an annoyed teenager whose mother kept badgering them to clean their room (apparently, I was mom.)

We received a blank stare with our order (free of charge), as the girl (later referred to as Teen Trauma) searched our faces, to see if the new season of Candid Camera had picked her as the butt of a joke where “crazy customers” ordered more than one item. With body language bordering on tantrum status (stomping feet, audible sighs) she began collecting our outrageous order of THREE desserts.

“This is to go,” we mentioned, trying to cut her annoyance by clueing her in that it wasn’t all for us, but that just meant she had to get a box. Now she was pissed.

I was almost scared to ask for a chocolate malted at this point, but since it was 90 degrees outside, I took my chances. I lost. When I asked for the drink “to go”, Teen Trauma said, “I can’t do that.” Of course this made absolutely no sense, but neither had any of her other behavior, so I figured once they handed it to me in a glass, I would ask for a to-go cup and do it myself.

We waited at a nearby table when Teen Trauma 2 (the male version) sidled up with a parfait topped with bananas and malt balls. What the...? Again, I had to wait in a line as long as Purgatory and again Teen Trauma seemed exasperated by my presence. I told her that I ordered the drink, a chocolate malted, “You know, like a milkshake?”

“I’ll refund your money back.”

Um, how about offering me what I originally ordered? It would be nice to make a profit and give the customer want they wanted, wouldn’t it? It didn’t matter. Call me bat girl because I was gone faster than one out of Hell.

As for the desserts, their passage through my pearly (white) gates didn’t leave without judgment:

Guinness stout chocolate cake- the dark chocolate cake with cream cheese icing was tasty, but I’d rather spend my money on the actual beer- the name made it a novelty, but didn’t warrant a $7 price tag.

Cheesecake- cut them into triangles if you want, but three sides of “blah’ are congruent to “blah.”

Angel food cake- finally this lived up to its namesake and made for some summertime sinning with fresh strawberries and REAL whip cream-everything was balanced, airy- dare I say, heavenly.

Too bad that was my only glimpse into the light because it wasn’t enough to make me a believer. Their penance would be paid in profit losses and diminishing clientele, but that would be their cross to bear (claw.)


David J. Olender said...

How many restaurants have you eaten are still keeping up your amazing skills as a writer/reveiwer...I remember this place...even though I never got to taste any of the good looked delicious, no coast dispatch is a no go...or north coast current...I hope something comes of it in the future...i think we all could have done some really great things with that site...last time we talked scott, yourself and I were supposed to meet up...we never did...we should...I'm offically blogging myself...not too much writing...pretty much informal commentary...a couple lengthy explanations and some info. and

we should get together sometime guys are great folks...any new awards??????????
press club dinners in the barrio???

You..well it appears from this blog alone..all the restaurants you've reviewed...that you should definitely apply at like restaurant review websites or magazines...etc...check out're in 5 or 6 cities now...las vegas, philli--i think--L.A....give it a gander...I have a contact number for them...give me a ring if you want additional info. I'm not sure if they're hiring or what...It's kind of a long story how I got involved with the owner, but...well I'll just wait to hear from you...if you don't have my number anymore..shoot an email my way and I'll give it to you via..well I guess that'd be via
for now until then

dave olender

Lauren C said...

Thanks Dave- I'm sending you and email now!

Daniel said...

Heaven sent them and needs to take them back. The place is dirty ( due mostly to the work ethics of said tantrum kids they hire) and the service is a flop. Even with the new chef they just don't get it. Might as well go back to Check Cashing, at least then they had personality. Great piece Lauren. Daniel